Just thinking back to what you said in the beginning Mandy, about our lives being a little boring sometimes. Nah. No. Nope. Not.
Taking a moment to vent. Let me clarify though, I am not unhappy, not at all. Life for me is pretty fantastic, with blips of not-so-fantastic sometimes. Mostly fantastic though.
OK, so to preface this, I will set up the scenario. We have Mr. A (some would say that the a stands for Ass, some would say Awesome. you can decide for yourself) So Mr. A and I have something of a history, let's say that for the most part he is a friend of mine, but during the times that I do not regard him as a friend, the former name usually applies. Mr. A has a history of carrying on in relationships with females that he (in his words) is 'not that into'. This past summer he did just that, got involved with Ms. U (unknown, meaning I know next to nothing about her). Ms U. happens to have 3 small children under the age of 8. So Mr. A and Ms. U have a lovely summer together, integrating their children, creating a family unit, all-the-while Mr. A proclaiming his usual... 'I'm just not that into her'. Right? Right.
So last week, Mr. A phones me and laments the end of his relationship with Ms. U. Sad, really. no, I really do mean that. What a huge waste of time and effort spent creating relationships with delicate little souls (kids) who love unconditionally and have a hard time understanding when grownups decide to part ways. He went on and on on the ins and outs of why he knew from the beginning that they were not a match and how he ended it all for that very reason, blah blah blah. He even went so far as to say that he was so distraught at how easy is had seemed for her to be dumped by him that he just couldn't bring himself to spend time with his son, and could I just handle that for another week or so? (Oh, I forgot to mention that we share a son).
So at this point, I was biting my tongue as what I really wanted to say is, OK Mr. A (Ass), you are so self-centered and egotistical that not only did you carry on for months in a relationship with a woman that you are 'not that into' and involve our son and her little darlings, but you just can't seem to swallow the fact that she is not completely distraught over the fact that she may have lost the only chance in her life to have her mind messed with by you and possibly suffer more emotional damage in the long run if she tries to hang on to a man that is 'just not that into her'? My God man, get over yourself.
OK, so to the point of my story. This weekend, according to Mr. A, was supposed to have been the time that he needed to nurse his damaged ego and get back into single man fighting shape so he could, magically by Monday, be back into top parenting mode. I need to call him about some visitation switches I would like to make, which in the past have been very easy to negotiate - although I have to admit it is usually me that is the flexible one. So today I make the call, Hey Mr. A, how are you, how was your weekend, hope you are well, etc. Hey you don't mind if we switch our weekends do you? It seems that many of the things that I'd like our son to participate in are during the weekends he is with Mr. A.
Well. Get this.
Mr. Ass, er... I mean A, says why? He then goes on to say that that this just doesn't work for him and that he needs to know my reasoning. What the... I mean, hmmm. Anyway, long frustrating conversation later, Mr. A tells me that he has RECONSIDERED his position with Ms. U and that her kids are on the same visitation schedule with our son, and that he is not currently willing to make any changes with me.
Hold on to my chair while I express myself on this one. Essentially, he is telling me (but obviously not in the same words) that his EGO is so large and inflated that he cannot handle the rejection he feels from a woman that he has admitted repeatedly he does not love. HE DUMPED HER, and the sheer fact that she is not crushed by losing the shining glow of his presence in her life is just too much for him to handle. So - in a nutshell, he is patching things up with her so he can double his efforts, make her fall in love with someone that he is not, further involve all of the little munchkins, and get a 'do-over' when he is ready to dump her again with the hope that she will be adequately crushed and emotionally distraught enough to satisfy his overblown need for hero-worship.
That's it. In an overblown, grossly-enlarged, sick sick nutshell. Classic Mr. A.
*sigh* All of that effort. Seriously, half of it channeled it some introspective self-examination could make a huge difference. Or not. All I know is that I love my son more that I love myself, and that makes all of the difference to me when I have to ask myself important relationship questions.
Take a lesson Mr. A.
Oh yeah, I'm writing for Gawker now
5 years ago