Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Why have we not been updating?

Bridget and I have had so much going on in our lives and it's a shame we haven't committed all that to the blog. One of the unfortunate side effects of actually having a life...........much to tell but no time to tell it.

Well, I'll start.

I have officially graduated college. After starting 6 years ago at a small community college in a suburb of San Diego, I have finally earned my degree at a major university in Seattle. I have a habit of downplaying my accomplishments because I know there's always someone who has overcome more and gone farther. I tend to make my big milestones into small pebbles.

I've promised not to do that this time.

Returning to college as an adult is very difficult. I had to relearn how to study and re-prioritize my life. I also had to try to overcome my fear of failure (I never actually managed this). I was married when I started school, but went through a divorce, two major interstate moves, unemployment woes, and holding several jobs while attending classes. My grades dropped dramatically during the divorce and this fractured my confidence. I came close to dropping out of school despite my student loan debt load and time I had already put in. I collapsed. Completely.

I fell into an emotional and mental pit that was deep and dark and lonely. I had to call on friends to keep me alive........literally. I locked myself in my room on more than one occasion because I was making plans to have the cats taken care of because I didn't plan to stick around in this life. It was scary. It was real.

Now, I'm the most strong and confident woman I've ever been. I crawled out of that place in my life, applied myself, regained my confidence, fought with myself........I made it. :-) My GPA isn't what it should be but I'm learning to live with that. I finished with great grades in my major, though. I can take comfort in that. I have done something no one else in my family has done and what I didn't think I could do for a while. I have learned a lot about myself and what I'm passionate about. My major was difficult and my life was difficult.............and it was all for the best.

It's been over six years. Six years that I wouldn't trade for anything...........okay, parts of it I would trade. *wink*

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